Was married for almost nine years, there is a daughter. Lived happily – at least I thought so. But the last two years my husband has developed paranoia. He began to blame me for treason every day. Installed cameras at home, “wiretaps”. Asked his friends to follow me. But I didn’t find anything, because I was true to him and I had nothing to hide. I was very tired of endless suspicions, I could not work calmly, but also at home. As a result, they dispersed. A month later, he gathered with a woman, forgot This option about the child. 8 months have already passed, I also tried to build a relationship, but it did not work. Maybe it was necessary to endure suspicions? Try to return my husband now?
Anna, the issue of parting with a partner is always painful and traumatic. Let’s look at the current situation from a new angle. What happened in your relationship before my husband began to be jealous and follow? You trusted each other, discussed what disturbed each of you? Whether they quarreled or smoothed the “sharp corners”, trying to avoid uncomfortable conversations?
If you look at the relationship soberly, what you invested in the concept of “lived happily”? What emotions, experiences and discontent pursued you while you were married? After installing the tracking cameras, you tried to live as usual, proving your honesty – which made you not present your husband anger and anger from what was happening? Or immediately terminate the relationship, do not tolerate two years?
To live a breakup and move on, it is important to analyze the last pattern of relations, the reason for choosing this particular partner. Divorce, like any crisis, is the point of your height. It is necessary to go consciously to grow and build something new.
Sudden and baseless outbreaks of jealousy, the suspicion of a partner often speak of a loss of his trust in himself. This is how one of the protective mechanisms of the psyche, which is called “projection” works.
Когда человек начинает совершать нечестные поступки, что-то скрывает, изменяет или задумывается об этом, ему не хватает сил и зрелости честно взглянуть на происходящее внутри себя и разобраться в этом — тогда он начинает проецировать на партнера свое поведение, опасаясь, что его так жеDeceiving. This could force her husband to put the cameras, but his immature position did not allow him to honestly talk to you and take responsibility for his decision.
You are overcome by a feeling of guilt, as it seems that the husband has left the situation “clean”, and the decision to divorce presses, because you doubt his correctness. But try to rationally look at what is happening: do you want to return to a person who does not trust you and undermined your trust, who is not interested in your child, lives another life?
It is extremely difficult to build a new relationship at once and not always necessary. It hurts you now – it’s okay. Give yourself time to live feelings, analyze what happened, fill yourself and stop blaming, to take out the important from this experience and see your strength, which allowed you to stop relations that bring pain. Now is the time to look for new guidelines and priorities, taking care of yourself.